Ghost of Tsushima (2020)
May 15th, 2021 by #momvsgames

This text contains spoilers!

After Death Stranding I had a desire for a new, different game world, with another kind of challenge. And so it seemed the right time to get acquainted with another part of the world, the world of Japan, the island of Tsushima, and the Mongol Empire. I have been fascinated by Roman and Greek mythology and interested in Egyptian archeology from an early age. So I guessed the mission of Jin Sakai would bring me into a completely new world. And indeed it did.

The first impression of the game was overwhelming. The beauty of Tsushima's world made me feel at first that I wouldn't get to the game at all because I just wanted to shoot beautiful pictures. In the end, the images became more of a background activity, mainly because the settings in Photo Mode were too complicated for me. I noticed that making pictures became less fun just because of all those possibilities. It often happened that the image I wanted to create became lost due to all the settings I tried and what came out of that was not always what I wanted to capture. There's one photo I'm still proud of and that was Jin in fighting stance with his shadow on the rocks - I still think it's fantastic. As the game progressed, I just took the pictures directly, mostly without photo mode. And I still love those pictures.

An open world is still not always easy for me to navigate. But with the wind at my back I could always get where I needed to be. Fast travel could be handy but galloping through the beautiful sceneries was absolutely no waste of time. On the contrary I enjoyed the nature, the colorful flowers, magnificent views and atmosphere. Places where something had to be found were not always clear to me and 'follow the blue flowers' often resulted in a lot of walking around and figuring out exactly what the intention was. However, the skills I learned in previous games turned out to be useful in this game: riding my horse through the fields, climbing, sneaking, honoring the shrines, fighting, shooting, all my previous gaming experiences helped a lot to complete my mission.

Being Jin Sakai in his world of Tsushima involves a lot of fighting and violence. Handling the sword was most fun using it to open doors. Instead of opening them, I slashed my sword through the door. That felt a lot better than fighting and to be honest, from the moment I knew this was possible I hit every door I came across, regardless of whether I had to go through it or not. It reminded me of the pots you can smash in other games I’ve played: once I knew that, no pot was left intact.

And then there is Jin, Jin Sakai. On the one hand, you actually feel from the start that his relationship with Shimura is not going to be okay. Every conversation ends in disagreements. You know with every encounter that the distance between them only gets bigger. One will never agree with the other. Jin develops into an independent grown-up person and thus goes beyond what Shimura expects of him. Jin realizes that as a Samurai he will not win the battle and that jeopardizes his father-son relationship with Shimura. However, for me the choice at the end of the game was not difficult at all. Jin accepts the fight, carrying out the lessons Shimura taught him, by acting as a Samurai in optima forma. Nevertheless and despite all disagreements, making Jin kill the man who wanted to adopt him as his own son after the death of his parents was never an option for me. Not even if that choice would mean for Jin to accept the consequences for the rest of his life being The Ghost.

There is a lot of suffering, struggle, pain and loss in the game. The stories of the women like Yuna, Tomoe and Masako speak for themselves. It makes Jin's choices understandable and bearable: it is mainly the pain that is always there and even can be felt when he meets them. This also made the little fox feel like a friend, and the moments of rest while taking a bath, the shrines (however difficult to reach sometimes) and the meditations were welcome moments in the story of survival, struggle and violence. Slicing the bamboo was challenging and fun. Furthermore, I noticed that I had the best chance of survival by sneaking into the enemy areas unseen as much as possible and taking out as many opponents as possible unseen. The way the weapons could be picked and how they worked was not easy to get used to. But I think my shooting skills with bow and arrow have leveled up quite a bit. And I got better and better in the duels - even defeating up to five enemies in one go, and with some help and explanation I also got to understand and use the parrying.

The music is once again fantastic in this game. The instruments and music completely fit what the game is telling, so much so that in my concentration to complete a mission, I sometimes didn't even notice it. That means to me that the music is one with the game and I don't think it can get any better than that. Beautiful music that will remain very recognizable even now that I've finished the game.

I ended up spending 125 hours on Tsushima Island. With this game - thanks to all the gaming experience of previous games I played - I managed to conquer my first platinum trophy. And even though Jin will spend the rest of his life as Ghost of Tsushima, the feeling of victory prevails because of this trophy. Another ‘achievement unlocked’ in the wonderful world of games.

Death Stranding (2019)
December 5th, 2020 by #momvsgames

This text contains spoilers!

I deliberately chose Death Stranding. After I played Final Fantasy VII Remake and was looking for a different game, I heard that in Death Stranding I was going to deliver packages around the world and make people happy with them. While this mission sounded a bit strange, it felt like a good thing. Death Stranding would be a completely different game than the games I had played until then, and after all the fighting in FFVII-R, I was feeling like something else.

The beginning was difficult in every way. Sam, and not knowing who he is, learning the gameplay, walking around a world without really understanding what it's about, what's going on, keeping balance with all that cargo on your back, lots of text and information, the BTs, the BB, the Mules. At first I was just in shock from carrying my dead “mother” on my back. The BB, the baby in the pod, is something that made me uncomfortable, especially when it would start crying. The repatriation focusing on a baby in someone’s mouth was disturbing every single time.

I have to admit that I was about to quit the game and give up. I remember getting stuck in the mountains with nowhere to go. That I wondered what I was doing. I was not having fun anymore, I was just scared to run into the BTs and go down every time, and scared when I was spotted by the Mules because I often had a hard time winning those battles. I remember every time that I lost my balance because of all the weight on my back and then had to go climb down a mountain to pick it all up again. One time I just got lucky when the cargo fell into the water but got stuck between rocks. I was happy when I’d find a truck, but it often didn't get very far either. It is that I would still manage to connect a location again & again, but so often everything still felt like a struggle. The ability to build Ziplines may have kept me going. Otherwise I would probably still have been walking around in the mountains now and I would have just stopped playing altogether.

The menus were also too much for me, and the emails were too many. I don't know if I missed a lot of information because of that, but I couldn't muster the energy. A lot felt like a struggle, and there was too much to have to struggle through. I ended up outsourcing many deliveries to the bots. As the game progressed, I became more adept at firing the BTs and gained a little confidence that I could advance. The Ziplines and a good dose of curiosity for where the story of Cliff would go and what the time travel battles meant are the only reasons I finished the game.

I found the story surprising. The final message is actually quite straightforward but just told in a complicated way. Despite all the trouble, a lot of it still worked out. There isn't really any person I felt connected to, so I was just Sam. I don’t really think the world needed to be called “America” either. The nature throughout was beautiful and I was often impressed at how the terrain affects Sam's walking. The music is not very present but at times it would support the atmosphere in a beautiful balance. Those moments could have been more frequent for me, because those are the moments when you recover and you can even enjoy them for a while.

There is one scene that will stay with me: that's on the Beach when Higgs challenges Sam. The resigned smirk on Higgs's face was so convincing, I can keep watching it over and over. I actually had to keep watching it over and over because it took a lot of tries before I figured out how to defeat him. More than once the viewers in the stream helped me with their advice.

Death Stranding is a strange game indeed. I still wonder what went on in the minds of the creators of this game that it was designed and portrayed in this way. It caused me a certain amount of disgust and resentment, and so I didn't always enjoy playing the game.

That said, Death Stranding does really feel like a new experience in the wonderful world of games to me. It's not a game I'll play again for fun, but the sense of “mission accomplished” makes up for it in the end.

Final Fantasy VII Remake (2020)
August 15th, 2020 by #momvsgames

This text contains spoilers!

That was Final Fantasy VII Remake. I have played Final Fantasy XV before, even twice and that game really impressed me. Mainly because it was the first game I ever played, but also because of the story, the beautiful locations, the music and the close bond between Noctis and his friends.

I don’t feel that as much with FFVII Remake. The 'industrial' look and the world where this story takes place feels and looks dark. I don't know the old version of this game but I did understand that Remake is only a small part of it. The story is about Cloud who is hired by Avalanche to take on Shinra, an organization that uses up all mako at the expense of the planet. Cloud is fighting for a good cause and that means there are all kinds of missions to do to sabotage Shinra's reactors. When Shinra also manages to capture Aerith, it becomes a matter of breaking into their headquarters to free her.

For me, the part of the game that takes place in the platforms, reactors and slums is quite complicated. I quickly get lost in floors and levels and I am still not always able to read the road properly despite the map. The team with Tifa, Barrett, Aerith, and later on Red feels good, but Cloud has remained the one that I could move with best in the game. The powers of Tifa and Barrett were very useful every now and then. I had the most trouble moving as Aerith and her special powers remained puzzling to me. Some bosses were really hard to beat like the Scorpion Sentinel, the Tonberry, Abzu, and Rufus. I think I even set a record with the Tonberry because that battle was over before I realized what was happening. Especially the bosses where limbs grew back or helpers resurrected were difficult. The last series of fights with the Motor Ball, the Whisper Harbinger, the Arbiter of Fate, and Sephiroth made me feel like the fights would never end. And while I have no idea of ​​time once I'm in a fight like that, for me it was battles of attrition.

Something that I still find very strange in this game is the part where you have to do a whole series of sidequests. I have not really understood the usefulness of that, and I don’t get the structure. The clues are minimal. And one also turned out to be the restart to the main story. I've completed them all but that part of the game feels strange.

And that brings me to the end of the game. Somehow it feels like Cloud's mission changes over the course of the game. While the fight against Shinra does take him there, the story seems to focus more and more on Sephiroth and Aerith and changing destiny and fate: "the price of freedom is steep". According to Aerith, beyond the point of no return lies endless freedom. And so, of course we cross the point of no return, defying Destiny.

I thought the moment of Destiny's Crossroads was very impressive. Sephiroth and Cloud on the Edge of Creation where Cloud refuses to share his powers with Sephiroth. Even though he seems to be the bad guy, I thought Sephiroth's looks and small expressions were all very captivating. But what was also impressive was the moment when this new character Zack comes out of the battle with Cloud and Cloud 'passes' with the others: and you know: destiny already changed! Fantastic, I loved this very moment.

Final Fantasy VII is far from finished. I still have so many questions. Although Aerith has a special place as Ancient, her last words also gave me a sense of doubt as to whether she is the person we think she is. There is something between her and Sephiroth and she asks the others to help her stop Sephiroth. According to her, Sephiroth says he wants to save the planet, but he is actually a threat. “But this is not the way it's supposed to be ... if we succeed to stop Sephiroth we'll be changing more than fate itself ... we'll be changing ourselves ...” But Sephiroth also asked Cloud to work together. Both Aerith and Sephiroth say they want to save the planet, but until then Cloud has been on Aerith's side. It is clear that Aerith knows more, but it is not yet clear what. At the end of the game a lot is elusive and I have no idea where this is going.

I understand that a lot of the old game is in the Remake. But the end is different. Even for people who played the old game, it is unclear where Remake is going. That is why I have decided for the time being that I do not want to know how the story continued originally, even though knowing may not hurt because apparently no one knows how this will proceed. Anyway, I am not bothered by any knowledge of the old story now. It's fine this way. And I am also very curious with all FFVII-fans about what is to come.

What will stay with me about this game? First of all, that it was really a lot of fighting. Especially towards the end of the game that was quite overwhelming for me. Because I fought so much I endured more and more game-overs during the game, and I introduced the "oeps" because otherwise I would have had to use words and expletives that I would rather not use. Depending on the frustration, the "oeps" went up to "OEPS!!!!!" and then even the chat starting using that too. Sometimes they would even say "oeps" when I was still playing. I appreciate everybody in the chat a lot even though I can't react while I'm playing - I always read back everything everybody said afterwards. I will also not soon forget the stairs: a wonderful part of the game. There I had to teach myself not to turn the camera all the time because I was already nauseous on the 7th floor. But I loved the chitchat on the way up and how the music emphasized getting more exhausted.

The music of this game is -again- fantastic and very recognizable as Final Fantasy. I love to play the melodies in my car when I'm on my way somewhere, sometimes even pretty loud. I definitely don't know all the tracks by name, because I'm often too busy with the gameplay, but I really love this music.

With previous games I have sometimes felt a bit sad that the game is completed. Somehow I don't have that feeling with this game. The story of Cloud and Aerith and Sephiroth has not yet ended and there is still a lot to come. FFVII-R is not over yet. So, now we will just have to wait until the sequel is ready. I'm excited.

Horizon Zero Dawn (2017)
May 9th, 2020 by #momvsgames

This text contains spoilers!

And that was Horizon Zero Dawn. With those fantastic views, impressive machines, beautiful Tallnecks, wonderful music, the story and the sympathetic, powerful Aloy. For me it was an accessible game, and the gameplay was very playable. I can't remember situations where I got completely stuck and even though it sometimes took a while to find my way around, it always worked out in the end. What I still struggle with are the inventory that is getting full. But eventually I got used to it more and more.

The game takes you very slowly into the world of Aloy, a little girl brought up by the loyal, strong, tough, not too talkative Rost. You can tell from everything that something is going on and more and more questions arise, which creates an uncomfortable feeling. From the moment Aloy is on her own until the beginning of the final denouement, the game felt a bit aimless. I had the feeling that I was sent left and right for all kinds of chores, but in my opinion that didn't really bring much.

Only from the Old Ruins and the Gravehoard did the story pick up speed again and I was completely taken along again. Until the final denouement I felt like I was gaining momentum. And what an ending.

What has stayed with me: the Tallnecks because I like them so much; the Glinthawks because I hated them for being so hard to beat; the shooting I got so much better at in this game; the Oseram-cannon that I could shoot in the battle around the Sun Palace because I never got to take those weapons with me during the game because they were way too heavy; the two, both extraordinarily beautifully depicted worlds, the outside world and reality of Aloy with the beautiful views and the 'Inside world' of Sobeck and GAIA Prime, in the cauldrons, the caves, ruins and Gravehoard; the names from Greek mythology; the wise lesson to be especially curious but with compassion and to work to make the world a little better.

The last two missions in particular made a big impression. The final battle to beat HADES in time is so intimidating and bombastic, and beating it is such a moment of euphoria. And then comes the very quiet intimate moment that Aloy finds Elisabeth Sobeck: the moment when you can breathe a sigh of relief with peace of mind. The mission is accomplished.

Someone asked me what the game did to me as a mom. Actually, there are two people who touched it. That was first and foremost when Rost leaves Aloy alone and tells her it will be forever. That touches the heart. And then again the moment when he comes to her rescue in utmost unexpectedness. You think you know that he keeps an eye on her in the background. But then things go wrong and there is the absolute and final farewell. That goes through my heart. And the second person is of course Elisabeth Sobeck. The big absent character that is also so present. Although she is no longer alive, Aloy finds her in the end. And that feels good. However strange and contradictory the two persons in Aloy's life, the one present at first and then lost which causes pain and grief, the other missing in life and when found gives you peace of mind. Feelings that are so recognizable, so human, and so pure.

What I also really liked in this game was the Photo mode. I like to take a screenshot every now and then. I turned on Photo mode regularly and even viewers in the stream recognized when I wanted to take a picture again when I would stand still to look around a moment. I think I made some really beautiful pictures.

And then the music. I only realized halfway through the game that I hadn't really noticed the music. It is there, but actually flows smoothly with the game and the atmosphere. It only becomes more present at the end. What is striking are the different sounds such as when picking the plants, the sounds of the machines and what I really enjoyed myself, the footsteps of the Tallnecks. It is remarkable how the music actually carries the game very discreetly and supports the story and atmosphere.

Every game I've played so far makes me feel a little sad when I finish the adventure. That also happened with Horizon Zero Dawn. I hope there is more to come in the future as for now there is silence...

NieR:Automata (2017)
March 14th, 2020 by #momvsgames

This text contains spoilers!

A few thoughts on NieR:Automata. I started this game completely blank. I hoped I could play it even though I have now been able to play a number of games, but I wasn’t sure I could play this one: I had heard so much about NieR:Automata years ago even before I started playing games, and it made me so curious. I always thought I needed to play more games before I could play NieR:Automata.

The very beginning was quite nice. To be 'to be' or 2B was intriguing from the start. It only became more complicated when suddenly there was also a 9S. Because I still have problems with finding the right buttons, especially at the beginning of a new game, I do miss a lot of things that happen. If I have to fight and in the meantime somebody speaks then I often miss that. At such a moment I am completely absorbed in the survival of the battle and there should not be too much information in the meantime. It is strange, because when I watch the recording later, everything seems much calmer.

I also had trouble with the map at the beginning and it really took a while before I found my way and recognized places. I knew the names of the various places, but where they were located relative to each other on the map remained a mystery so I often lost the way. It was such a relief when I got the Transporter so I would always end up where I wanted to go.

I am happy to have been able to play NieR:Automata. It was a rollercoaster. I found ending A and B quite complicated and I assume that I do not yet have a full picture of everything. But after that the story became easier to follow. At first I felt more connected with 2B and much less with 9S. It took some time for me to get used to the hacking and I didn't realize yet that 9S could also 'just' fight.

After ending A and B I lost the connection with 2B quite quickly. And although A2 could be quite grumpy and blunt, she soon turned out to have a heart of gold. I liked her for that reason. I feel she had more personality than 2B. I only met Emil once, Adam and Eve scared me, and Popola and Devola made me sad. This is how some people's lives are and that makes their story very sad. Their story was told very well with the text and the choices like ‘touching their cheek’ or ‘supporting their body’.

But the one I liked most is Pascal. His peaceful attitude feels so nice to me. But most of all there is his care for the children. I thought it was fantastic how primal forces that emerge when children are endangered were imagined; how he ran back to the kids and the moment of realizing that it is too late. The guilt and sadness that can never be overcome as a result of the loss was heartbreaking. It touched me. So to the question who I have the most connection with, my answer is: Pascal.

There were also several big choices at the end. Choosing between A2 and 9S, my first reflex was A2. But at the same time there was a completely different realization: that 9S has a completely different position than a 2B and A2. His unique role as a 'high-end model', his task 'I am here to provide support', and his possibilities - even if it was via 'hack' - to look further and find out more, made me suddenly decide to choose 9S. In my opinion and not knowing how it would go on, I thought that 9S had more skills than just a fighter and I thought that would be of more use for whatever might come next.

And even though everyone started to question his mental state, and revenge for 2B's death would be his goal, I still feel differently. 9S knew more, and for much longer than 2B and A2. His goal now was not only to avenge the death of 2B but to destroy everyone. His frustration, the losses, the fights and the lies he found out about fed his anger. Actually, he had become a bit of a Popola and Devola: because of his own, different view, no longer fitting into what was supposed to happen and therefore no longer accepted. That made me press the button for 9S. Afterwards it became clear that the battle as A2 was decided much faster.

My favorite place is not really a place on the map but is the Library in the Tower. That may stem from a bit of nostalgia perhaps to earlier times of my youth. I remember libraries like that and I was pleasantly surprised when that space suddenly appeared.

And then the end. I think I was in some kind of flow: I never thought to quit. I also had no idea what was in store for me. The questions were very surprising and I answered in complete honesty and good conscience. It took me some time to understand that I just couldn't make it by my own and that I had to accept help. In amazement I saw my entire save game disappear before my eyes. I thought it was genius and I will not soon forget this. I was shocked by how the game was able to make me feel the consequences of my choice.

Thank you to everyone whose data I destroyed. I needed quite a few, sorry to “LOLGuy” you had to watch me delete your data. That was another thing where the game could be really confronting. I assume that someone else will be helped by my data. And that feels a bit good again.

And then the viewers in the stream. I feel bad for not being able to chat while playing. I could only read the chat messages when I watch a stream back later. I really appreciated the help, good advice, commitment, compassion and all the encouragement. This is a new world for me that I still have to get used to. I really appreciated that you wanted to experience this rollercoaster with me. If you have enjoyed the stream as much as I have enjoyed NieR then I think it is good. No idea what the next game will be. I definitely plan to play NieR:Automata some time in the future again. I will let it sink in for a moment. I know that there is so much more that I have not yet seen.

So I am pretty sure I will play this game again in the future. With a ‘New Game’... Awesome!

God of War (2018)
July 30th, 2019 by #momvsgames

This text contains spoilers!

Wow, what an ending.. I mean the story, wow! With Freya, the battle between parent-and-child, Baldr, trying to be a role-model, failing at that. Wrong choices. Blind love at the expense of who you love. Sacrifice at the expense of your own for who you love. Rage, vengeance, not wanting to be like your parents but better...

You can fully understand everyone's intent and reactions, but the way they express them are so destructive that the outcome is as it is now. It's very much how life is... it's horrible.

You know what I found very impressive? At the start of the last fight with Baldr, the way they managed to express his feelings in his little figure. Really! I am super impressed. The way he stands, the way he moves... Baldr's body language really reflected his emotions... the moment at the start of that ast fight I think: I really believed that! It was "bring it on, I've got nothing to lose, and I'll get all of you for it". I wish I could rewind the game, because you could really see it in his character - he felt what he was doing wasn't right, it wasn't correct - but he didn't see another choice anymore.

I'm going to grab my bicycle and bike around a bit to take a break.